I’ve seen a LOT of panicked tweets this week where people haven’t finished watching the original run of Gilmore Girls and so are desperately muting any mentions of The Year in the Life. But I’m here, little friends, to give you a run down of what happens in season 7 so you can just skip it. Really. You can. (Except maybe the finale, I’d probably watch that because Lauren Graham made them rewrite it a bunch so it wasn’t completely terrible).
For those who haven’t spent much of the last few years immersing themselves in Gilmore Girls and Gilmore Guys (an exceptional podcast for true Gillies), let me inform you that season 7 takes a serious nose dive. Amy Sherman Palladino and Dan Palladino, the original creators and show runners, were bumped at the end of season 6 due to asking for more writers to help support them, which was deemed too much of an ask. In Amy and Dan’s leaving, they had to hire a bunch of new writers anyway and David S. Rosenthal, the world’s creepiest Heidi Klum fan, took over. Season 7 rehashes a lot of Amy & Dan plots, weirdly, as though no one would notice, so you probably know what’s going to happen.
Let’s start with Lorelai. At the end of season 6, she wakes next to Chris which of course is a terrible thing. Lorelai comes to clean to Luke, but only before he can profess his love for her and suggest they go elope to Maryland, then he walks away and they are broken up (only after he goes to Chris’ flat and socks him in the face). There are a lot of awkward scenes between them, particularly across a cross walk where Luke loses his shit at her in a way that weirdly seems out of character, despite Luke’s firecracker nature. Anyhow, for some terrible reason she calls Chris and they start dating – he shows her a film on the wall of a barn with no speakers, but it works apparently. They eventually take Gigi (remember he has a daughter?) to Paris where Sherry/Cherie has moved, and bribes a load of people to open a French restaurant at 5am in an incredible feat of mind control and privilege. He suggests that they get married. They come home to Stars Hollow and whoops she is Mrs. Chris, and clearly feels real awkward about it. Rory gets really mad that her parents eloped without her, and Lorelai continues to be awkward about it all. A plot rehash occurs and Richard has a heart attack, resulting in everyone going to hospital and Luke being an absolute gem of course. But where is Chris? Well he fell out with Lorelai because she wrote a personal testament for Luke who is suing for custody of April (don’t even ask) and it read a bit like a love letter, and decided to turn his phone off and sulk somewhere. So Lorelai’s dad is sick and he doesn’t show, and then they finally admit that she wanted to love him but he is truly second best, and he leaves. Somewhere in the middle of this Luke and Chris have a really shit fight in the town square. I can only presume they got a divorce.
During this whole mess, Rory has been having some classic end-of-school angst that takes up much of the season. She makes 2 new friends Olivia and Lucy (or Jessica Jones for those up to date on Marvel), who make oblique references to “boyfriend” of Lucy’s, who turns out to be Marty or Naked Guy from Rory’s first year, the guy who awkwardly wanted to date her and watched Duck Soup with her but she chose the rich guy and he got sad and entitled in a way that did not endear anyone to him. So they brought him back, he pretends not to know her, and they keep the secret, but then it all comes out. Honestly this plot was so pointless I remember very little. She is still with Logan through this season, though he now lives in London and buys Facebook or something similar and moves to New York. Up until this point, Rory has been living in his flat with the suit of armour, but moves back in with Paris and Doyle, the most underused characters of the whole season. Facebook #2 turns out to be a bad investment so he disappears for a bit getting very drunk and angry. Then he proposes in front of all her family at her graduation party in the penultimate episode and she says no, hooray! Bye Logan.
So meanwhile, Luke has been suing for custody of April (again don’t ask, it’s so unbelievably out of character and such a plot mess that… no) and Lorelai has been chumming up to him, and at some point he starts wearing the hat she gave him again. The final episode centres on the town planning a leaving do for Rory and a graduation reenactment, but Rory gets a job on the campaign trail with Obama and has to leave in three days. Luke and the Townies plan a party but Babette’s leg hints rain, so he stays up all night sewing a HUGE tent out of all the tarp, tents and coats he can find. Rory and Luke kiss, large pan out, hooray!
The Townies and Gilmores very much fall into the background for this season, as does Luke for the whole part where they are no longer together. Here is a short rundown.
- Sookie goes a bit weird. She’s pregnant again. (I think this is the 3rd time this storyline has been used).
- Michel’s dogs die and they host a funeral. He is strangely chipper at the party in the last episode.
- Lane and Zach get married, have horrible sex once on a beach and she gets pregnant with twins. Mrs. Kim steps up in an excellent supportive way. Zach gets a gig as a guitarist for a band really big in 2007 and leaves to go on tour, so Lane is left with the babies. Lane deserves the best storyline in YITL because this was just such a horrible sex shamey mess.
- Paris is dramatically underused, but has some good quippy moments. She plans to go to medical school, but given that haircut in the trailer I think she is finally the politician or lawyer she was always meant to be.
- Kirk lives in a box for a bit.
- Taylor barely appears.
- Babette and Ms. Patty come into their own in the final episode, but again, are drastically under used for this season.
- I think Gypsy is in the final episode.
- Jess and Dean are not present at all.
- Liz and TJ come back for some much needed comic relief, have a baby called Doula. Jess is barely mentioned, though this seems characteristic of Liz.
- Richard and Emily appear for social functions and do the cutest little song at Rory’s graduation party. Richard teaches at Yale for a bit. The hospital visit is a rehash of earlier seasons but with none of the emotional gravitas that “I demand to go first” had.
- April has to move to somewhere hot and her mother goes a bit evil villain for a bit, hence why Luke sues for custody. I think they get shared in the end, and Luke plans a big summer boat trip, but April has to cancel because of science.
Okay watch the last TWO episodes because you get to see Logan’s downfall, singing Richard and Emily and the last episode.
There you go. If you think I’ve missed any key points, comment below and I’ll add them. Enjoy Year in the Life everyone!